Constant Vigilance
by vilyasthrall
Summary: Based on the prompt by sister- the age-old question 'Why was Alastor Moody retired' I do not own the Harry Potter universe. J K Rowling, Warner Bros and other assorted groups do instead, unfortunately.


**Constant Vigilance**

_Based on the prompt by sister- the age-old question 'Why was Alastor Moody retired?'_

In the auror office, a blameless officer lay half-on, half-against his desk, scribbling a report. Rufus Scringemour, despite his obviously heavy workload, was smiling with self-satisfaction. In fact, as Alastor Moody had noted, his happiness appeared to have created its own little micro-climate in the office.

Now, Alastor Moody had nothing against happiness in general, but it did tend to… lower people's defences. And he couldn't have that.

Wrapped in his best invisibility cloak, Moody crept from his own office to Scringemour's cubicle. He made every effort to travel silently; despite his current weakness, Scringemour was an auror after all.

Without a sound, he took up position at the younger auror's shoulder and leaned over. He stopped breathing so not to alert him.

The moment strained.

"_Constant vigilance!_" Moody screamed. For good measure, he transformed the man's chair into a porcupine.

Scringemour yelped and jumped up, clutching his heart with one hand and fumbling for his wand with the other. Heads peered curiously around the edge of his cubicle, but by the time Scringemour was coherent enough to elate his story, Moody was long gone.

"Upon my oath," Ginnius said angrily, "I am not a violent man, but if you don't get your act together, Alastor, I'll turf you out on your arse."

Moody raised an eyebrow. "I'd like to see you try, Norman," he growled. "What's got your wand in a twist this time?"

"There is a porcupine in the main office!"

Moody rolled his living eye. "Call Pest Control," he said. "They're only a few floors away."

Ginnius' knuckles were white. "Moody, I'm warning you," he said. "One more stunt like the one you pulled on Rufus, and I swear I'll do nothing to stop the people who say you should be going."

Moody occupied himself examining the potions in the Chief Auror's locked cabinets. "Yeah," he said. "You know what they can go and do."

"I'm serious."

"So am I." He paused and caught Norman's eye. "I'm the best auror here by a long shot. It's not my fault if some of them you're choosing aren't up to scratch. Sir."

Cornelius Fudge, toyed with a muggle newton's cradle between appointments. He coughed self-importantly, straightened his tie and nodded to the bubblegum-pink quill poised over the desk.

"Dictation," he said pompously, "Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic agrees in response to the Senior Undersecretary's proposal on the eviction of the remaining giants in Scotland-"

In the office behind him, Moody smiled grimly. Every word that Fudge said reinforced Moody's impression of their 'glorious leader' as a man not fit to swill out Albus Dumbledore's discarded boots.

In short then, a man that needed to be taught a lesson, whatever the cost to Moody himself.

There was a flash of light, courtesy of 'lumos maxima,' and the quill was incinerated. Before Fudge could finish gasping, a man's outline appeared outlined by the light in front of the desk as if he had just apparated.

The figure leaned over confidentially, and against his better judgement, Fudge did too.

"_Constant vigilance!" _the man roared. And disappeared.

Moody looked on with considerable enjoyment as Fudge peered short-sightedly around, his face changing from white to puce in a matter of seconds. The Minister's gaze lingered on the ash caking his newly-transcribed letter, and then looked around again.

Moody pressed himself against the nearest wall so he didn't ruin the lesson by having Fudge blunder into him. Fudge looked left. He looked right. And then, after a long pause, in which he seemed to be counting to ten, he yanked the door to his secretary's office open.

"Get the Apparation Officer up here," he demanded. "I want to know how someone- anyone- could get into my office undetected."

As Fudge's (pure)blood-pressure rocketed, Moody smiled with satisfaction and slipped through the door like an invisible breath of wind. His mission had been partly accomplished; Fudge would hopefully be far more vigilant now.

Norman Ginnius was in the Ministry Canteen when he heard the latest gossip. He gasped. He went as red as Fudge.

"Get me Moody!" he screamed. "Now."


End file.
